Another useless bit of speculation

I just got through another bout of one of my daughters (Jessie again this time) being in oestrus and Nero going berserk in his attempts to rape her. Three weeks of bleeding, pulling, and frustrated howling put me in a mind to decide that while dogs might well be the highest form of evolution, as I usually believe, their reproductive arrangements leave something to be desired.

Now, just imagine if humans had cycles of oestrus like dogs.

I can just imagine women racing through the streets (assuming there were any streets, of course, because all adult males would be running after any woman in heat in sight all the time and wouldn’t take time off to build any) with a howling mob of semi- to completely-naked males in pursuit. Now you can see that – what with our superb senses of smell, you know, so much keener than those of a dog for instance – the woman would be stinking to high heaven of her sexual secretions, so she’d probably drench herself in perfume...no, strike that, sewage water might be more effective...in an attempt at disguising the smell. Yes, nose plugs might be what the well-dressed man will be wearing.

(Or maybe women would have bright red crests in mating season...like fowl? How about that for an idea?)

So now imagine the practical applicability of reproducing the scent of a woman in heat. Actresses, models, and perfume makers are obviously going to benefit, but so will ordinary housewives. Spray a little Heat Scent on yourself before hubby gets home, and you know he’ll never wander, ladies!

And you see the military application of such technology? Take a woman in heat and parachute her on top of (not behind – on top of) the enemy lines. Then, when the enemy soldiers have all gone on parade behind her through the trenches, send in your troops. You’ll win in a walkover.

Just make sure your men wear noseplugs, if nothing else. Or use woman soldiers.

But then better ensure none of them are in oestrus, either.